Remus and the start of something new
by PrettyLittleDiary
Summary: Remus Lupin is in his second year at Hogwarts and he now classes Sirius, James and Peter as his best friends and he is so glad to have them but he wants more than anything to keep his secret exactly that.
1. Chapter 1

I Remus John Lupin finally had friends for the first time in my life and it was such a great experience for me. I had spent my Easter holiday in company of my three best friends Sirius, James and Peter and I now knew what it was like to have friends. The Easter had been an amazing experience for me but now we were getting back to lessons and our exams were so near it was back to reality. This was not the only way things were back to reality for me as I was about to experience yet another transformation in to my secret being of a werewolf witch none of my friends knew or would ever know. The only thing I was really looking forward to now term was starting was seeing my other friend Lily who had taken a holiday with her muggle family for the Easter holiday and her sister had being rather rude to her and I wanted to remind her she did have friends.

I was sat in my dormitory with my three friends as all around the school people started to return and there was a large feast taking place to celebrate the start of term but for me it was time to make my transformation again. "Remus, come on you can't miss the feast!" complained Sirius that morning "How come you didn't just visit your mum over Easter?" He did have a valid point but I had planned my answer in my head already. "She was a lot better lately and she thought I'd get more work done at school" I shrugged "they're worried about her it could be bad." Sirius didn't question this and he looked worried for me and I hated myself a little bit more for lying to his face for the hundredth time. "Alright, we'll sneak you up some food" he said I grinned back "don't act as if you won't be the one eating it" we laughed together as I got ready to leave for my few days transformation.

I snuck out of the empty dorm room in to our common room which was empty of my classmates and walked down to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey walked me down quietly fussing over me to the entrance to the shrieking shack she used her wand to press a certain knot in the tree that made the whomping willow stop thrashing it's branches. I murmured thanks and went through the passage and walked all the way to the shrieking shack. The transformation started almost instantly and the last thing I really remembered was my screams as I changed and my whole body felt like it was on fire.

I woke up a few days later again on the hard floor of the shack I whimpered as I tried to move as every bone in my body ached. It had been one of my longer transformations and one of my most painful and I'd woke to find cuts all over my body which looked like they were going to scar. Great, yet another thing to have to try and explain I thought to myself as I prepared myself for my walk back to the castle. It took me a while to move the walk was long and I was terrified that the cuts on my back would break again as they were barley healed I put my robes back on and headed through the castle. I had no real idea of what time it was but the sun was bright and I assumed it must be around mid day and I hoped I could get to Madame Pomfrey's hospital wing before the classes evacuated in to the halls for lunch.

I walked slowly limping through the deserted corridors and I spotted no other than Sirius Black distractedly looking out his classroom window questioningly at me. Oh great he's seen me in this mess the questions are just going to get harder now. I thought sadly as I felt the cut on my back break open to bleep I sped up and walked through the still empty corridor. "Madame Pomfrey?" I asked as I walked in the quiet hospital wing. "Are you okay?" she asked rushing me over to one of the empty beds "I've cut my back and they look bad" I explained. "Let's see these cuts" she asked and I removed a shirt and Madame Pomfrey found some ointment to use on my cuts that were crossed over my back. I moaned as the ointment burned in to my back to heal the cuts "Mr Lupin, the cuts on your back are rather deep this has healed them well but I would like to keep an eye on them, we don't want to add an infection to your problems do we" Madame Pomfrey said kindly "you can stay here for the night." "Is it okay to go to back to the school? I have a lot of awkward questions as it is" I explained. She looked at me and considered my point "okay but if you have any problems you come right back here okay Remus?" I nodded sadly as I left the hospital wing the halls filed up with students.

"Remus John Lupin!" screamed Sirius black he put his hands on my back and pushed me forward the pain made me whimper but I couldn't tell him what the pain was from. The four of us walked through the crowded corridor. Had no idea where we were heading but as we reached the third floor and headed towards the mirror that was the secret passage to hogshead I didn't quite understand why we were would go there.

We stood in the deserted spacious passage way and Sirius demanded "speak" and that was the only word he said as he looked over me. He sounded both annoyed and concerned he gave the impression he was worried about me and James' face was similar and Peter I just couldn't read him. I hated how close they were to knowing my secret and how I could never tell them the truth.


	2. Chapter 2

I looked up at my three best friends I couldn't lie to them a second longer as they finally had enough evidence to confront me, if the truth meant I had to leave Hogwarts I guess I would deal with the consequence but it was impossible not to tell them. I was awfully situation I was in I felt myself fall back on to the wall and then my legs went to I was crouched down with a bleeding back looking up at my only friends. I couldn't even look at them I held my face in my hands and found myself tug at my hair. Then I felt James' hand touch my shoulder he comforted me with the simple gesture and brought me closer to talking. That single touch made me look up at my other friends they simply looked concerned but they didn't know what was coming next. In that second while I watched their faces every possible outcome ran through my head at once. They could run straight to Dumbledore demanding my expulsion instantly, would they curse me in to oblivion where we stood, they could lock me in this passage and run, they could tell every single student at the school my secret, they could owl their parent's and two pure blood families like Potter and Black could have a lot of influence over the school and ministry I couldn't see a single outcome where I wasn't simply fucked.

"Madame Pomfrey walked you across to the whomping willow and then all of a sudden you were gone. I know you've said before that you use unusual methods to get home but there's something you're not telling us, isn't there?" Sirius said in an uncharacteristic caring voice "and when you just passed my class your back was covered in blood don't tell me that was something to do with your mum, I just want to help you." Ah so he had seen me but they had no idea what my secret was but I didn't have a good enough lie this time. James tapped my shoulder gently as I held my face in my hands "mate, you always go at the same time of the month please be honest" he gripped my shoulder as if to remind me he was still there. A few seconds later I pulled myself to stand again and stared at my feet on the dusty stone floor James stepped back and I took a few deep breaths.

I couldn't look up as I finally started to speak "I, Remus John Lupin have a secret" was all I could get out. I looked up and Sirius and Peter were blocking the exit through the mirror and I was too sore for the run all the way to Hogsmead I sighed once again. "I, well,l the thing is please, please don't hate me" I pleaded as I dropped my head my heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears but it wasn't adrenaline this time it was simply fear. "I, well your right I do leave almost exactly every month" I nodded as I tried to find the right words to say and how I would stop them telling the whole school. "I, I have well its called lycanthropy" I paused hoping the other name for being a werewolf may get them off my case. I had kept silent for the longest time so far when I looked up they all simply looked confused and they weren't asking me any more questions as if they knew I had to do it at my own pace. I looked at my feet this was it the moment of truth goodbye friends and world I'd come to love I realised I was actually shaking now and my throat felt dry. "I, well the thing is, I, I'm kind of have to transform every month" I paused gulping "I transform in to a, well I transform in to a creature, I, I'm a werewolf" and I collapsed back down against the wall as I had before my legs just couldn't hold my weight.

Oh how the science terrified me I found my hands in my hair again and felt the warm blood leaking down my back as I grazed it on the rough stony wall. I couldn't look up they probably had their wands pointed at me and they were prepared to use them even the killing curse I guess, I mean I am a monster. "You mean to tell me for the past nine months you've kept a secret from us?" Sirius said with a consoling tone. His voice made me look up he looked worried for me still I was not expecting this from the pure blood Sirius Black who would of been brought up to fear beasts like myself. James was wearing a similar expression and his hand reached my shoulder again and tapped me nicely on the shoulder. Peter still looked rather confused by the whole situation.

"I had to keep it a secret I was so lucky to be here and Dumbledore and my parents made me promise I'd never tell anyone, I'd never had friends until recently so it hadn't been so hard until now, I hated lying to you. I was scared you'd tell everyone and I didn't have the option to find out" I finished quietly as they watched over me. "Did you, did you do those cuts to yourself?" asked James. "I, I think so I can't remember anything from when I'm a werewolf. I've never hurt myself before" I explained. There was science again "Since when have you been, uh, a werewolf?" asked Peter he sounded nervous. "Since I was a child" I stated without an explanation. "What, so um is one of your parents a werewolf?" asked James. "No" I continued reluctantly "when I was about five years old my dad had a disagreement with a certain werewolf named Fenrir Greyback a rather evil one to say the least. I only found this out recently but he would place himself near to children of those who had upset him and bite them and well he got me" I finished lamely. Now Sirius looked disgusted for the first time and his was the only face I could see as he stood in front of me.

"Well there is one thing missing from this story Remus, where is it you go?" Sirius asked, I knew if I lied they'd go explore anyway so what was one more secret? "Well there is a passage you don't know about. It's close to the whomping willow and it leads to the shrieking shack, I'm the residence brutal ghost" I explained to them. Sirius face had changed from concerned to annoyed in a split second "you mean while we were making OUR map you thought not to tell us of a passage way?" I was surprised that this was what annoyed Sirius out of everything. "Come on, I had to keep it a secret I wanted to be at Hogwarts more than anything" I smiled at him. Sirius grinned back "you know you're going to have to take us there right?" I was so shocked at his words "I'm pretty sure Dumbledore watches the passages, its best not to" I explained. "Yeah but this is YOUR passage way no one else's we may as well make the most of it right?" he smiled at me. "So you're not scared of me?" I asked scared of his answer Sirius just shrugged and then grinned "well I still reckon I could take you" he said nonchalantly. His grey eyes were as full of life as ever and I believed him, he actually wasn't scared. I looked at James' face with his hand still on my trembling shoulder "there are worst things mate, you could not be one of the marauders" he grinned an identical grin to Sirius and stood by his side. We were the marauders we had made the nickname while comparing ourselves to pirates during one night exploring the depths of the school. I then looked to Peter "it doesn't change anything" and he tried to smile but he just couldn't pull it off like the others. I pulled myself to my feet again "you understand this has to be kept a secret, it's the most important secret to keep if you want me to stay in school and not receive prejudice from my peers and everyone else I'll ever meet. Seriously guys I'll be in so much trouble" I tried to impress the seriousness of the fact and they all seemed to pay attention. "Hands in the marauders" said Sirius I did rather reluctantly. "We, the one and only marauders are going to keep Remus John Lupin's secret between the four of us" said James there was a murmured assent from the other two. "I wish I knew how to do the unbreakable curse" commented James "I don't think it works for ways" I said. "Come on, we'll be late for class" we left the passage way and walked through the halls.

I walked with them and thought about what had just happened I couldn't actually believe it still the most astounding fact was they didn't even look slightly scared they were simply compliant. My three best friends had just accepted me without a bat of an eyelid and I don't think it was a trick. Only the marauders could be more interested in a secret passage than having a werewolf as a best friend. I couldn't understand how it had been so easy something was going to backfire it couldn't be so simple to accept in that space of time. Maybe they had guessed more than they said before as they were clever and they did make a comment about the full moon. I couldn't consider it true I was no longer keeping a secret from three of the most important people in my life and they had accepted me, I only really wanted to tell Lily now. We were finally heading towards the potion classroom when Sirius tapped me on the back "Remus, it's like being a Black you just can't help it" he made me feel as if everything was okay for the first time in my life and his comment reminded me I wasn't the only one with a hard life. As we sat together in the classroom James "Lupin, you've lost your nickname Loony now you know" he whispered I looked back confused "You're moony now" he grinned and went back to pulling out his ingredients. I had to say I did prefer moony as long as no one found out the reason why. My best friends had accepted me and I couldn't feel happier even with the possibilities of this being a dream or something crazy like that. I pinched myself to determine it wasn't a dream it was too confusing to believe.


	3. Chapter 3

Returning to school should have been a harsh bump to my usual reality of lesson's and work but there was a dreamlike for me. It took me a while the next morning to remember if I'd dreamt telling my best friends about being a werewolf but as I felt the cuts on my back that had re opened a second time during my fall against the wall I was sure it was reality. My reality had changed now though I had three friends who truly accepted me for me and I couldn't be happier even after such a painful and long transformation.

I finally had the opportunity to see Lily after her three week absence and it was lovely to see her at the great hall the next morning but she looked as worn out as I did "so how was the holiday Lily" I asked concerned. She nodded sleepily as the marauders, Scarlet and Celine came to join us "we'll revise potions at lunch together yeah?" I said in a whisper "meet you at the library" she responded quickly as the rush of the great hall took over our private quiet conversation.

My day went quick and it was next to no time when I headed to the dormitory to find some left over rations from our Easter break as I was not quite hungry enough for a meal in the great hall. I was there slightly before Lily so I pulled out our potion books ready as her great skill made up for the lack of mine we had worked on potions together countless times. The only different this time was that I didn't actually plan on working I planned on finding more out about her holiday as she was not her usual bubbly self this morning. I felt a pat on my back making me squirm in pain "Hello, Remus" Lily said with half her usual smile on her face. "I've got a caldron cake If you'd like one?" I asked as she pulled her seat on the desk with me "oh thank you Remus, they're my favourite" she said greedily. "Lily do you want to tell me about what happened?" I murmured gently in her ear. She took her time to consider what I'd said and then held my gaze and said "it's Petunia" and she paused dramatically "I have no idea what I did to make her hate me so much" she hiccoughed loudly and I shushed her with the strict librarian Madame Prince so near to us we didn't want to get chucked out. "She's your sister Lil, she can't hate you" I pointed out she returned a watery grin at me "you'd of thought, wouldn't you?"

She turned her gaze to her parchment on the desk I didn't push her as I could see her debating if she was ready to tell me and I didn't want to upset her any more than needed. "It's just ever since Snape told me I was a witch she's hated me" Lily hiccoughed loudly "shh" I whispered "what do you mean Snape told you?" She looked surprised she had never told me this before. "Well we grew up a few streets away and he had seen me around and had started to watch me and of course he saw me doing magic. I still don't know how long exactly this went on for but I was about nine when he overheard Petunia calling me a freak for managing to create a flower in my hand and he finally had the courage to come talk to me and he explained what I was" she shrugged dismissively "Snape was a great help for me starting Hogwarts I had some small idea of what to expect, mind he also told me blood status didn't matter and he's running around with those Slytherin's who think their purity means their loyalty."

I considered her point it did explain how a great Gryffindor like Lily would be friends with Slytherin as they had an already formed friendship. "So what happened with you and Petunia then?" I asked. She gulped back rather noticeably "she loathed Snape from day one he was from a less well off area and of course for snooty Petunia that meant he was bad already" she rolled her eyes at her sisters view of hierarchy. "Well from the second he told me she then referred to me as a freak and she still does. It was particularly vicious this holiday I think her life at her posh English boarding school has made her even more snotty and I didn't consider it possible, her insults were now allot worse than simply freak and I don't feel ready to repeat them" she sighed viciously "See Petunia is in fifth year now and she thinks she's all grown up with her big fat boyfriend from the neighbouring boys school. Vernon has allot to do with her change I just know it Tuney and me used to be best friends and she has never once responded to my owl since I got here" there was a tear dropping down her cheek and I hugged her.

When I saw she stopped crying I pulled away "do your parents know?" I asked. She nodded but was shaking from head to toe but still nodded "well my dad's ill and I don't really want to press the subject, his heart probably couldn't deal with it" her green eyes overflowed again but pushed me back from hugging her this time. "Lily you're sister may be older than you but she has some growing up to do, it must be weird for her to have her baby sister turn in to a witch out of nowhere. I'm not justifying her by any means" I added wanting to make sure she understood my reasoning as simply cheering her up. "You're parents are proud of you right? I've seen you on the platform together and they seemed so ecstatic to be around all this magic" I continued "yeah they are very proud but they can't stop Tuney" she shrugged. In that second I realised Lily was suffering a preduice as much as I would and at least I could keep mine a secret as her muggle sister judged her and the pure bloods here called her a mudblood, she didn't have much of a space in either world. "Lily you've got me now remember? Don't worry about these crazy pureblood is best people and your crazy muggle sister" I said "Everywhere is barbaric isn't it?" she replied. "Well Lily, you've got me and you've got the girls. You are coming to stay with me this summer okay?" she laughed a teary giggle and said a simple yes before falling in to a hug again.

I was so concerned about poor Lily Evans but all I could think about was that she opened up to me over all her friends and I was still keeping my secret. I held her in her in a hug while she shook quietly in my arms. Poor Lily Evans the girl call muddblod by the crazy pure bloods and freak by her own family she could usually hold her ground so well it made me realise how badly her sister was effecting her. "Lil, if you ever need to talk you can bend my ear ok?" she smiled and nodded.

"NO CANLOUDALING IN THE LIBARY" screamed an irate Madame Prince walking on to our isle we jumped apart and this really made the teary Lily laugh. We were so often used to being accused of dating it was almost a routine now "don't wanna let potter hear her say that" I grinned at her and she laughed "oh that good for nothing idiot" as we pulled together all our books and parchments and ran out the library laughing. In that moment it occurred to me I was not the only one with a bad home life me, Evan's and Sirius were all suffering through some event.


	4. Chapter 4

The following few days I was so snowed under with my school work it was unhealthy and it's amazing I had time to fit anything else in my overflowing brain. I spent a majority of my time with Lily and our fellow Gryffindor Emma Vane. Emma may only be a second year too but she was very vain and self obsessed but all that considered she was a hard worker making her perfect company for our late nights in the library. The only problem with Emma's presence was I did not feel quite appropriate trying to talk to Lily about how she was feeling as she was not yet back to herself and looked rather mousy and run down all the time. It was hard to see Lily like this but I didn't know what I could do apart from be there as much as possible. The main thought that plagued my mind when I considered the fact I'd told my three marauder friend's my secret and not Lily was she actually did have a ill parent at home, what right did I have to lie to her using something that she is suffering through?

The fact I was spending time with two of the prettiest Gryffindor girls had not gone unnoticed by my peers. Black was insistent that his crazy cousin Bellatrix and head boy Malfoy knew we were to blame for the Easter term prank, in the said prank we used a well put together spell that every item of their clothing was ruined and it made them positively fuming in their quidditch match that day and meant they lost the quidditch cup for this year. Sirius was right they almost definitely knew the truth after Bellatrix and her sister Narcissa had confronted a rather terrified Professor Sprout, head of the opposing quidditch team, accusing foul play we had been next in the firing line. Later it came time for us to be accused and I was rather terrified however Sirius' quick reactions meant we never found out what non-verbal curse Bellatrix was trying to throw at us and McGonagall's arrival on scene also meant we never found out what Malfoy would have done to us. As the sixth and seventh year had got ready to duel us Malfoy had referred to them as "death eaters" a term none of us had heard before and made some threat involving the dark lord, luckily McGonagall also heard their threat and I didn't feel obliged to find a teacher to tell as I'm sure she would of know the right way to deal with the incident. It was debateable whether or not to take him seriously as the Malfoy's and Black's did have a reputation for being part of dark activities but we did not think they're so called dark lord would be interested in immature school pranks. Our aim first and foremost with our prank had been to piss off the wizard's who had been known for supporting ideologies of a certain dark wizard but then Sirius had the genius idea of the timing to piss of their quidditch team as well as any other Slytherin's including his arch enemy Snape.

I personally found the most terrifying part of our prank the howler Sirius received from his mother threatening disowning for doing something so terrible to his pure blood cousins and their respectable boyfriends calling him the outcast, not them. This had led to us all being more open and Sirius could only name about three people in his whole crazy pure blood family of who he liked and he was only on speaking terms to two of them. It made me realise that Sirius' detest for his family was a mutual feeling and how grateful he must be to be able to attend Hogwarts, like myself, to escape reality.

But as I was saying Sirius thought we should be prepared for the worst and he is probably right that we should, but I had no way of knowing what to expect so how could I be prepared? Even though the fallout had been minimum from the first prank I had ever really been involved in and James' great idea of completing another prank did not quite seem the sensible solution to me. Peter on the other hand was simply terrified, there was no other word for it, and I haven't seen him on his own once since we were threatened not even in our common room. I like to say I have found the perfect balance between both sides of the overreaction.

However Sirius' concern for me spending so much time with the two Gryffindor girls was not for the same reason James was worried about the matter. He was convinced if I didn't put in a good word for him I was betraying him completely. Of course, right now was not the time to push a boy she was not interested on the unhappy Lily Evans and I think James did understand this to some extent but he was still crazy for the red head.

No matter what all my friends were saying in my ear and even with the distraction of revision I was still concerned with telling Lily about my condition and I realised it was time. I honestly saw Lily as my more, let's say, reliable friend as I did now realised she was more of a friend than a study partner, as I understood her company was a lot of what kept me reasonably sane in my first year I don't think she really understands how much she was there for me. I'm just so glad she was able to confess her family problems to me to I hope we had mutually understand the development of our friendship. I decided I'd take her to the secret passage way where I had finally confessed to my marauder friends, I hoped more than anything she had already guessed our lessons on werewolves may of helped her draw the right conclusion.

That Friday night as the common room filled up after our lessons were done and our weekend began I grabbed the still tired looking Lily "Can we go for a walk please? We need to talk." Okay, okay that may have been slightly a dramatic thing to say but I wanted to make sure she came, and make sure she came alone. She nodded instantly and we walked, well rushed, through the portrait of the fat lady through which she had just entered. "Sirius, James, Peter and I have found a few secrets of the castle; I'd like to go there, if that's okay?" I asked her politely as we power walked across the school. That specific venue seemed perfect as I didn't think anyone but us knew about it giving my story an almost zero chance of being over heard. I pulled back the mirror and led her in to the spacious passage way.

Lily was distracted at first looking around the surprisingly spacious passage way that the good girl Lily would never even thought to explore before. "Remus, what is this about?" she said bringing us both crashing back to reality, I knew there was no going back. "Lily Evans, you're the brightest witch in our year and probably in the whole school, if I'm honest" I smiled at her "ah Mr Lupin, flattery will get you everywhere" and for a second we laughed together before her gaze lay expectantly on me. "Well as I was saying, you're brilliant. The problem for me in having such a brilliant friend is you know I've been lying about visiting home, don't you?" I said hoping she'd blurt out what she thought was happening and get it right but even while still distraught Lily could hold herself together with more class than most. She measured what I had in said in her head before agreeing that "I knew they were lies" but that was all she said. "Lily, this is really hard for me I feel you may know what the truth is, would you mind taking a guess?" I said with desperation in my voice.

"Well this is what I know, to start I've not been able to get special circumstances to visit my dad and I thought you had for your mum, something didn't add up. You're lucky my mum didn't want me at home and missing out otherwise I would of pressed the matter further" her words made me feel guilty for using what she was going through to hide my lies but Lily simply smiled at me. "You leave every month but I started paying closer attention, it's not simply every month, it's every full moon" she knows I thought as she watched me and I looked at the floor for the first time. The pause was horrific. "I heard about your trip to the hospital wing after this one and I'm assuming it was a self inflicted wound, correct?" I nodded it felt like an interrogation. This time she seemed to need to summon up the courage to continue as if terrified she was wrong and then I started to wonder if she wasn't just terrified of me as she knew what I was and I'd brought her to a deserted corridor. It occurred to me that my friends accepting me had led me in to a false sense of security and I started to panic all over again my breathing was fast and my heart beat was in my ears. Lily may be a muggle born but werewolves are included in so many muggle horror stories and Lily has done enough reading to surpass a seventh year surely she's found some information about the monster that I am.

I barley heard her next words "every time werewolves have been brought up in class you've blushed and if I've asked to do our homework together on the subject you make some excuse that you've already finished it" she knew but she was still sounding a little scared "you almost choked on your toast when Sirius made fun of Peter for not knowing the difference between a werewolf and an animagus" she giggled slightly. "Remus, am I going in the correct direction?" Lily asked clearly not wanting to be forced in to calling me something I wasn't; I couldn't work out the tone of her voice as she asked. I couldn't look at her face but I nodded "Remus, are you a werewolf?" she finished her interrogation "yes" was all I replied.

"Did you know Remus, I actually thought you were dying at one point yaknow? You should have told me earlier" I finally pulled my head up to see her smiling at me. "Lily I was scared, I AM scared. No one accepts werewolves" I told her "Remus, not many people accept mudblods willingly either" she said tenderly "Lily, don't call yourself that, you're a muggle born I'm a monster it's not exactly a easy comparison to jump to." Her face roared with anger for the first time this week and she looked like herself again "Remus Lupin, you are no monster! You're probably the sweetest most caring guy I've ever met and your little problem doesn't change who you are! I understand why you're keeping it secret but don't be ashamed around me Remus" she demanded of me. She then took my hand in hers and squeezed it tight "I honestly don't know why I trusted you over my other friends to talk about Tuney so I hope you know I trust you as much as you trust me, and you can always bend my ear off too. Deal?" I couldn't believe how she could also be so accepting. "Deal, Lily how can you be so calm?" I asked "it's something you can't help. Now, who knows?" she questioned. "Well Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey and McGongall as far as I know out of the teachers and well um I may of possibly just told Sirius, James and Peter" she looked surprised so I continued "they saw Madame Pomfrey escort me across the grounds and they knew something was up so they confronted me and I told them. It's the only reason I've gained the confidence to tell you Lil." She squeezed my hand again "If it was anything else I'd call you a good for nothing idiot for telling those wasters first, but I understand, come here Remus" she said and pulled me in to a hug.

"So where do you go?" she asked "Lily this is almost as big a secret as the hole fact I'm a werewolf okay? There is a passage way near the whomping willow that leads to the shrieking shack and that's where I transform" I explained. She nodded taking in everything I'd said to her "that makes sense, it can keep everyone safe." "Yeah, safe from the monster that I am" I growled "Remus John Lupin! I've told you once please don't call yourself that!" once again demanding me to listen "fine, as long as you keep your promise never to refer to yourself as muddblod?" she nodded and hugged me. "I'm so glad you felt ready to tell me, come on let's get back before everyone thinks were an item again" she said as we left the passage.

"Remus, is it painful?" she asked I nodded "yeah I always wake up sore but this is the first time I've ever cut myself and it looks like they're going to scar" I said as my cuts throbbed again. "I'm so sorry Remus" she said with a voice full of care. I shrugged it off and realised how mature the bright witch was, she had worked this out long before tonight and she knew I wasn't ready to divulge what was happening so she waited. Lily has the intelligence to rival any student at the school but she was also so kind and caring and that's what made Lily different, it made me love her company as she didn't even bat an eyelid at my confession. She seemed to consider everything I've told her debating what to ask next "were you born this way?" she wasn't bashful like the marauders had been and she knew the right way to go about her questions as she was purely curious. "No, my dad had a disagreement with a werewolf named Greyback and his positioned himself near me at full moon and well you know, he bit" I finished lamely. She looked truly horrified "how can we live in a world with so many monsters?" she questioned "and-no-your-not-a-monster-Remus" she added quickly in on breath as if reading my mind. I laughed as she spoke to me as if I had confessed something a lot less dangerous than this and it made me feel so much better knowing all my friends now knew and they accepted me and in that moment I couldn't be more grateful to attend Hogwarts.


	5. Chapter 5

The first week back at school had been start of a new reality, one I'd never expected to experience during my time at Hogwarts. For one I had friends and I was friends with the biggest prankers in the school and my other friends well possibly the smartest girl in our school. It was surprising enough that I had friends so I didn't feel like the completely geeky, lonely monster that I was, I guess now I was simply a geeky monster. I still think of myself as a monster but Lily had refused to let me express this in her presence, but still it's what I am. As I was saying, I was now in a new reality which now felt more like a dream brought on by one of Madame Pomfrey's potions in the hospital wing which gives you the best dreams, I convinced myself it wasn't a dream as I had returned to lessons, it was a reality but a new one. My new reality has been not only having friends but having real friends who even accepted the monster within me. I think you understand now why I feel like I'm still dreaming, who would have believed it possible?

"Moony, you tosspot!" shouted a bored Sirius lying on the bed next to me this insult was followed by a pillow to the head which of course I returned, I retuned it aiming for his head and missed his whole bed. "Remus, we need to get you practicing quidditch you're to clumsy to be a marauder" he grinned at me as I poured myself over my charms textbook and parchment. This was quite a regular insult for me so I merely nodded in agreement and carried on reading even though I had barley taken in a word since the pillow had hit my face. "Come on mateee, you could be doing something a lot more useful than studying" he said again while levitating his own charms book in front of him. He didn't need to tell me what the better things I could be doing with my time as it was all I'd heard for the last few nights I should either be researching ways to complete our marauders map and be able to add repartitions of every person present in the castle and of course the essential end of term prank.

Next thing I knew I felt Sirius' levitating book hit my head with precision and it's safe to say it hurt a lot more than the cushion. "SIRIUS! FUCK" I shouted as he hit me and I threw my own book at him which of course he caught. "Temper, temper Mr Lupin" he grinned at me that annoyingly-perfect-grin "go annoy Scarlet" I growled at him. Scarlet was our fellow second year and she had mediocre looks and was fairly clever but she was Sirius' latest girlfriend who had spent Easter rather annoyed at him as he didn't bother to owl her at all but he didn't seem to want to rectify the mistake. "She's still in to me" he shrugged "Emma wants to help with a prank though" I had a feeling Emma wanting to help was a lot more to with spending time with Sirius than creating a prank. "Do you have any ideas, Sirius?" I asked as he brought up yet another girl in his long line of disinterested feelings. "Well I think this should piss everyone off, not just Slytherin's" Sirius said ambitiously with a glint in his eye. "Well maybe you should just grace them with your oh-so-brilliant presence" I grinned at him "You're better off planning with James, I'll consider helping you but I'm not the idea guy." And another pillow hit my head "Moony, James is in detention" as if bringing him up wasn't allowed since he was in detention, how was I meant to know?

I thought about what to say next as I didn't want another thing thrown at my head and I remembered the mirrors he'd shown me over Easter where you could see each other in even if you weren't in the same room all you had to do was say their name. "Use the Mirror?" I asked "the dick forgot his" Sirius fidgeted in his bed. I realised I wasn't going to be able to revise tonight at least until James was back from detention and Peter was back from the library catching up on work. It's not as if I didn't like being in Sirius' company, I did, but I was scared of failing my exams.

I turned to watch Sirius as he levitated his pencil case back and forth the roof of his four poster bed, I didn't even know he owned a pencil case till that second, trying to distract himself as he sat in his full Gryffindor robes. "So, how can we piss everyone off?" I asked "That's the spirit" Sirius jumped off the bed and sat by my feet. Then there was silence we clearly had no ideas. "We could push Snape in the black lake" he said "oh yes, in our quest of discovery more than anything else, of course" I added laughing. We'd spent an afternoon sat by the lake wondering what was in there and of course pushing in Snape seemed like the simple solution so he could tell us if there was a giant squid, mer people or gryndillows.

"If I knew where James had left his cloak we'd head to the forbidden forest, I'd love to see any of those animals take on you" he grinned. It was the first time anyone had brought up me being a werewolf and he was so casual about the subject it made me feel safe. "Only happens on a full moon, right now you'd have better chance mate" I laughed at him. "Well of course, I, Sirius Black the legendary dueller could take on anyone or anything and kick their ass!" he was stood at the foot of my bed now wand hand outstretched I kicked his feet and he came down with a large crash. "Think I've been teaching you too much moony" he grumbled as he tried pulled himself up and massaged his foot. "Be careful, my bites worse than my bark" I winked at Sirius "definitely taught you too much, no going after my girls now?" as he grinned back at me "Oh come on mate, have you ever actually liked anyone?" I said. "Maybe a little" he didn't seem bothered with the question "don't want some crazy girl going after the Black name now do I?" he did have a point so many little Slytherin's still thought he was cool even if he was a Gryffindor.

We sat thinking "Moony, you know when you're transformed, could you hurt someone?" Sirius asked he seemed to have gained confidence on the subject now. I thought about it "I mean I've hurt myself and I could hurt someone, but I haven't yet luckily." He thought about what I said "even good natured as a werewolf eh?" "No, nothing like that, I scratched myself so badly and you should see the shrieking shack, everything is ripped in to pieces. I'm just kept away from human's that's the reason I've never hurt them, I'm really glad I do as I hate not knowing what I did and if there was a chance I had hurt someone I think it would be unbearable" I sat and looked down yet again I felt ashamed. "Moony, you're no monster" he said as if reading my thoughts. I nodded gratefully; he was my second friend to be against me calling myself of what I am. I was appreciative for that but I felt they were underestimating what I was and one day that was going to catch them out.

In stormed an irritated James "Moony, do you have to look like you're an old married couple with everyone you're alone with. First Lily now Sirius" he grinned at us "damn McGonagall, had me cleaning out all the rats they use for transfiguration, discussing business. He showed us his dirty hands and ran over to use trying to touch us with his spoiled hands. "Get off you sick fuck, we've been trying to plan the prank and we're pulling up blank" said Sirius. "Whereas I the king of Gryffindor have a b-e-a-utiful idea" grinned a patronizing James.

"We are going to head down to the house elves in the kitchen and spike as many drinks as possible, of course, I don't mean anything dangerous" he grinned and held us in suspense "while I was, uh, revising in the restricted section for transfiguration I came across a certain spell/potion" I went to lay on his bed opposite while taking of his robes. "Obviously I couldn't bring the book back, we know what Madame Prince is like but I made the notes" reached in his back and pulled out some parchment "this beautiful concoction will turn anyone who drinks it in to an animal" he grinned at us waiting for a reaction. "That. That Mr Potter is perfection!" Sirius applauded I could see so many flaws in the plan but let them plan. For a start how easy would it be for us to get caught, second we'd need to have antidote ready in case something went horrifically wrong and what if we got caught with the antidote, thirdly what if we accidently transformed a teacher and of course none of us were exactly the best at potions and I don't think Lily would help with this potions task. "Smile moony" and for the third time that night I had a pillow thrown at my head.

"James, can you actually make it and do you know the antidote" I didn't want to be the disappointing marauder but I didn't want anything to go completely wrong. "I'm pretty sure we can do both, with a little help from my cloak it'll be simple to find all the ingredients and you know moaning Myrtle's bathroom is always empty we can plan there" it actually felt fun to be involved I couldn't deny. "All marauders in" I confirmed and we broke off in to plans as we knew Peter would never say no.


	6. Chapter 6

So our plan started I did leave most of the work to them as even when they didn't try they were without a doubt better at potions than me. I spent the time to consider everything they were carrying out and making sure they used the exact right ingredients and didn't rush the process. I couldn't deem appropriate that I was getting involved with a prank again I still hadn't forgotten Bellatrix's heavy lidded stare when I was accused last time and I wasn't sure it was the correct decision for me to make, I was no pranker but I was a marauder. Peter was very like me again he didn't seem keen on the idea but he went along with it for the sake of being in the marauders he was probably less involved than I.

On the other hand myself and Lily had became the only two second year students dedicated to our revision as everyone else had became distracted by the sunny grounds. It was hard to tell them they were wrong as second year grades didn't count for all that much but it was time for us to chose subjects for the following years so I wanted to make sure I did well. We spent many late nights revising together on all of our subjects with a determined to pass every subject well, Lily probably didn't need to be revising but she always wanted to be the best she could and enjoyed having a companion as she revised as she actually found it helpful to explain things and did not get annoyed at my slow pace.

It was the following Saturday when she said "Shall we head out for the day Remus? We'll take our books of course" she grinned I had a feeling we were taking our books to make ourselves feel better rather than to work. Of course I agreed and we headed towards the black lake and we sat by its side skipping rocks, well I spent taught her how to as it was one of the few skills I possessed that she didn't. It had been maybe half an hour when Celine, Scarlet, Emma and Ruby the Gryffindor second year girls came to join us and sat near the lake. "Shall we tip our toes in?" suggested Ruby as she sat closer the lake than I would of liked and removed her shoes and dipped in her feet. "There's a lake very near me at home I love swimming in it with all my muggle friends" she said in her soft Irish accent while flicking back her wavy blonde hair. Ruby was the other muggle born in the house something that Lily had confessed herself thankful for as she was not the only one learning things every child of a wizard knew. "I wouldn't fancy going in that river though" said Emma looking in the murky river she was the only girl who had not put her feet in the water as if she may catch something and I thought she may have a point.

I sat listening to their chatter about their home lives Lily and Ruby the muggle were muggle born, Scarlet was half blood and was only brought up by her father I found it rude to pry but I was curious of why and Celine and Emma were pure bloods which meant they were more than likely they were somewhere a hundred times removed relatives of James and Sirius. I always found peoples home lives interesting and I was happy to listen to tales of Ruby's young muggle brother and how much he hopes he can join her in Hogwarts and he wanted to learn to write quicker so he could owl her like her parents do.

"Remus!" I heard a voice in the distance and I squinted in the sun to see none other than Peter running towards me "can you help me with our charms work? I didn't realise it was in tomorrow" he said wheezing and gasping and pulled out his quill and text book. "Course Peter we were just making things levitate like last year" I sat and went through the details of the homework I already completed. "Here we go" whispered Lily and I looked up to see James and Sirius leaving the forbidden forest I dread to think what they actually do in that forest were wolf or not it was forbidden for a reason. They spotted me in a distance and walked over "We just met a centaur" said an awed James I hadn't seen him this excited in a while.

"I thought they didn't like humans?" I asked "they weren't exactly keen on us and one called Firenze made them leave us alone because we were young" grinned Sirius. "Let me guess, you're still going to go back and meet them again?" I smiled at my stupid friends. "We were looking to find a unicorn and we didn't get there so of course we have to go back with our fellow marauders for company Moony" he said and punched my arm. "Marauders?" asked Emma after Sirius said it "yes, it's our nicknames" he said pocking us in the back. "Do we want to know why?" asked Ruby Sirius grinned "it's all a secret plot Ruby, us marauders are going to take over the school" always so smug and with his tell tale grin his eyes lit up as Ruby rolled hers at him. Scarlet was sitting quietly and I started to realise I felt bad for her as Sirius openly talked in her presence without saying a word to her, his girlfriend.

Lily was lying on the floor with her feet in the water slightly she looked quite as unimpressed as Scarlet listening to Sirius' conversation. We sat together sun bathing in the gorgeous weather it was the first break I've had in a long time as the nine of us sat in the sun. I wondered where the other male Gryffindor was we never saw him he seemed awfully attached to his Ravenclaw and Slytherin relatives. That's the thing with some pure bloods they have so many have relatives around the school they may not be interested in making friends.

"Butterbeer would make this perfect, wouldn't it?" said Celine pondering the taste of the drink perfect for a summer day like this she did have a point. Sirius seemed to be considering it and I coughed his eye and shook his head as I knew he was considering the possibility of using one of the passages to get us all some butterbeer. Of course it would be a bad idea and while I stared him down he finally sighed loudly as if I was being an idiot for wanting to keep our secret of the grounds. Even with that Celine was right I would love some butterbeer again. "I can't wait to go to Hogsmead need year" pondered Ruby "I've never even tasted a butterbeer" one of the many differences that muggles had missed out on. "It's an amazing taste and it can warm you up and cool you down perfectly" explained Emma "exactly!" contributed Sirius. He still sounded annoyed that I wouldn't let him get butterbeer and sweets from Hogsmead but I did have to be the rationale friend sometimes.

It was dark before we decided to be ourselves to walk to the common room and me and Sirius went to the kitchens so we could make up for not eating all day. "You should of let me go" Sirius grumbled as we walked "and how would you of explained it?" "Well the thing is no one questions a Black" he winked "I think they'd be to grateful for the food honestly Moony." He did have a point we were all starving so we had offered to get some food before it was lights out. A little elf named Blinky had become almost a friend of ours as we met her at least weekly "Ah masters Black and Lupin, would you like something to eat?" she said sweetly "Yes please Blinky, there are nine of us though so please can we have a lot" she nodded instantly and ran off making us some food . "I wish Kreacher was more like Blinky Sirius complained in an annoyed tone. He may be pure blood but he respected creatures that needed respect and his houself may not have been one he believed deserved his respect. It was barley five minutes before we had our hands filled up with mounds of food "thank you, Blinky" we chorused as we left the kitchen and walked through the building.

Sirius was greedily eating as bun as we walked through and he couldn't even wait "Are you always this greedy Sirius?" I asked looking at the skinny but slightly musselly boy. "Of course how else would I grow in to the duller that I am Moony" he said "I would curse you right now if I wasn't worried about my food dropping." Sirius was always threatening me and never carrying it out "Oh really, always an excuse Sirius" I taunted as we walked up the castle stairs. "You are lucky I like you Moony mate, otherwise I'd of cursed you in to oblivion so many times" he said grinning at me and I realised how much I liked Sirius too "me to mate, we need to get you a better nickname though Puppy" I added as we reached the fat lady "quidditch" we said as the password and went in the common room. "I thought I was King" said Sirius puffing out his chest James was sat next to Ruby and he looked like he was reliving some dramatic story while messing up his hair.

They all moved to make space for us on the few empty comfy sofas they had managed to get off the older students. We sat together and shared out the food we had managed to carry up to the common room and shared it out rather greedily between the nine of us as a few fellow Gryffindors looked on jealously. We were used to spending time together but we'd never stayed up late talking about anything and everything a few games of gobstones and chess as we stayed up past lights out. We had to listen to Sirius' and James' rants about how they were going to be the best quidditch players we'd ever seen, once they had their turn.


End file.
